Wild Out Music Wednesday

Communication pt.1

Scenario: You call for your child to talk to their dad. He doesn't answer. You leave a message and send him a text to please call you back because your child back because they want to talk to him. A couple of days go by and you call again and he still won't answer or return of your messages but you find out he's been on Facebook or online every other day from his mobile phone.

What you want to do: Get on his Facebook wall and write that he is a trifling son of a b*tch and you know that he sees you calling him so that y'all child can talk to him and that he isn't shit and you wish he would call you talking about his phone been broke or he been busy because he had enough time to get his ass online.

What you should do: Remain as calm as you can and tell your child that their dad is unavailable at the moment. (Even if that's not the case.) When you finally get in contact with their dad don't spazz out on them. just be like our child really wanted to talk to you and was disappointed that you didn't return their phone call. If he argues just say call me when you want to act like an adult or just hand your child the phone.

Bonquesha Files: Sugar

Sugar in the gas tank. Everybody knows what this does. It messes the entire car up. I wouldn't advise anyone to do this especially single mothers. You wouldn't want to do this to your baby daddy's car because how is he going to pick your child up? And if he sees you do it or you brag about it to everybody you know you know who's going to have to come out of pocket? Yeah that's right..YOU!!! If he doesn't already come and visit your child fine get over it. You can't force any man to be a dad if he doesn't want to be. If he's financially supporting your child though and you mess up his car. Then there goes that income because now he's walking to work. Think about your actions. Don't let any man make you look like a fool.

Words Owl Fridays!!!

Don't judge a book by its cover because the next chapter you read may be a reflection of yourself..

Prison Fathers

I know as a mother the hardest thing you can deal with is having to tell your kids that their dad is in prison especially if they are too young to understand. Sometimes you have to make tough decisions. If you are dealing with a father who goes in and out prison and isn't looking to change then you may have to wait until your child is old enough to deal with the situation to explain it to them but if he was never around then its probably not going to bother them one way or another. If you have a child who has a father who was active in their life then and was caught up in a bad situation then you may need to sit down and have a heart to heart with the child. Don't let your feelings get the best of you and you start yelling "your daddy is so dumb." or "Your daddy is so stupid." That's not how you handle the situation. Try your best to explain it. If your up to it take your child to visit him in jail so that they can still have a relationship. Or just let them write or talk to him on the phone. Don't try to break the bond if it was already there because not only will your child resent you and their father but they will be confused as well. Talk. Listen. Learn. There are a lot of kids dealing with having a father in the prison system and a lot of them repeat that same mistake because the families don't cope too well with it. Please don't let your child become just another statistic because the odds will be against them.

A Father On The Rise

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The Black Family

What has happened to the black family? Hell what has happened to families in general? It used to be a time where you would see mothers and fathers raising their children together in one household but today all you see is chick's on Maury trying to find their baby daddy, dude's running away from their responsibilities, or people all up in family court arguing over custody and child support. There are more single parent households then ever before. You have teenagers having babies and they're still babies and dad's making crazy decisions and going in and out of prison. I'm not judging because I'm not with either one of my kids' fathers and I was teen mom twice. But that doesn't mean that we didn't try to make it work for our kids. One of them is a jailbird and the other our personalities just don't match. I didn't grow up with my father in the home either because he was sent to jail when I was 2 and didn't get out until I was fourteen. I had father figures but never had a father. When he got out I really didn't know him and I paid him zero attention. Like most teen girls being raised without a father I was out of control. My mom couldn't keep her eyes on me 24/7 and I knew that and took advantage of it every chance I could. Same with teenage boys they don't have that father figure to instill discipline in them or teach them how to be a man. That's why most sell drugs, steal, or end up in jail. Once you become a single parent you are a statistic and it makes your children statistics. Not the good kind either. And when your a single BLACK parent that percentage goes even higher. What can families do to change this? Give our kids a shot at something we never had. In all honestly I can just say be careful with who you have kids with because they may not who you want to spend the rest of your life with and your stuck struggling. Its not an easy world out here but every child still needs BOTH parents regardless of the situation at hand. Even if you can't stay together as a couple plan a family day where you all do something together and don't argue around your kids. Give them some family values so that they can take that with them when their older and will probably avoid your mistakes. EVERY CHILD DESERVES A SHOT AT A FAMILY!!! DON'T SELL THEM SHORT!!!

Phenomenal Black Mom

A sweet kiss from my daughters' lips when they tell me goodbye

Finally being able to let go of their hands hands because their not so little anymore

To know that I raised them right

Taught them right from wrong

Helped them stay on the right track

Taught them how to avoid naysayers and haters 

Because they will only try to destroy them

Phenomenal Black Mom that's me.

Spelling bees and cheer leading games

And tea-time with the bears

Paint on their hands and the writing on the walls

Look how far they have come

Beautiful young ladies and I raised them all on my own

Kissed every bruise

And taught them how to tie their shoes

Was always their when they needed me

Now its time they go

I set them free

To raise their own children and live their own lives

And become Phenomenal Black Moms and Leaders.

And make me..their mother proud

Written By: Taquila Thompson (inspired by Maya Angelou's Phenomenal Black Woman)

All Rights Reserved Copyright © 2012

Truthful Thursday

Don't let ANYONE tell you that you're nothing. You are worth something. Whether you make someone smile for a second or happy for a lifetime. You are a somebody.  Chase your dreams. Forget the naysayers and become who you want to be because at the end of the day you live your life and not them. If you let them beat you down you'll never completely be who you want to be. And where would that leave you?

Song For The Child Support Getters!

Fed Up!

Situation: You try everything to get your child's father involved in their life. You send them copies of report cards, pictures of them on school field trips, let your child write them, and reach out in so many other ways and it still doesn't work.

What You Want To Do: Cut him and shake some sense into him. Drag him to see your child and make him explain why he's such a loser.

What You Should Do: Explain to your child that daddy isn't in a place to be around them yet. don't talk bad about their dad because in time they will begin to from their own opinion about him. Kids don't stay blinded forever. Just break it down to them in a way that doesn't hurt their feelings or make them hate the parent. It'll all work out.